Baxley-March 8

I cannot write this without having a heavy heart and tears in my eyes.  Our beloved, four-legged son, Baxley, went to Heaven on Friday, March 8, 2013.  He has been everything that a son could be, but so much more. Baxley started not wanting to eat much about 1 1/2 weeks prior to March 8th.  My hubby and I took him to vet on March 4th.  The vet checked his tummy and did not feel any blockages, and he also took his temperature which was slightly elevated, but nothing to cause great concern.  The afternoon before we left the vet's office, Baxley was eating canned food, and we were relieved.  The next day, James went to the store and bought another brand of pet food.  We thought maybe he was tired of the pet food he had, because he had been eating it for a few years.  Baxley ate the new food so fast you would think there was a prize at the bottom of his food bowl.  On Wednesday and Thursday, he again went back to not eating.  He was drinking his water, but we couldn't get him to eat.

Friday morning James called and made an appointment for Baxley to see the vet.  I was already at work but something kept telling me that I needed to go and be with James and Baxley at the vet's office.  When I got there, I saw James lifting Baxley out of the back seat of his truck.  That is not at all like Baxley because he loves to ride and gets in and out of Daddy's truck with ease.  When we got back to the examining room, Baxley was very calm.  This was unlike him too, because no matter who you are Baxley was always glad to see you, and would run up to you.  The technician took his temperature and said it was normal.  The vet came in to look at him, and first said that he was pale.  James and I thought that sounded odd being that he is a black dog.  However, she said that you are supposed to see the blood vessels in their eyes, and Baxley's was very faint, and his gums are supposed to be a bright pink, and Baxley's were pale.  She took him and did some blood work on him.  When they brought Baxley back to the room, the technician offered him various kinds of food, and Baxley would sniff it and then turn away.

Baxley laid on the floor and barely moved.  James and I were quite shocked when the results came back.  She said that if he were human, that a blood transfusion would be needed right then and there.  The vet also stated that his hemoglobin was very low and other blood results lead to pancreatic cancer.   She said the blood loss was most likely from internal bleeding, and possibly cancerous tumors.  We were shocked!  Baxley never complained, whined, etc.  We had no idea he was such a sick little boy.  Money was no object to us about how to treat Baxley but even with surgery and a blood transfusion there was only a 40% chance that he would make it.  James asked the vet what she would personally do if it were her dog.  She said that given his age and everything...she would put him to sleep.  This was harder to hear that anything in this world.  We didn't want Baxley to go on suffering but we didn't want to lose our son either.  When James and I made the decision to put him down, James asked if he could hold Baxley in his lap while all of this was going on.  She said "of course."  The technician placed Baxley in Daddy's lap, and I sat beside them.  First, the vet gave him a sedative, and then the euthanasia shot.  We held Baxley until his little heart stopped.

I felt like someone had just ripped my heart from my chest.  I haven't cried that much since my Daddy died almost 30 years ago.  A part of Baxley's Mommy and Daddy went with him.  We opted to have Baxley cremated because

• 1. we live in an apartment and don't have anywhere to bury him
• 2. I always said that if anything ever happened to Baxley I would want him cremated, so that I could have him with us.

A few days later, his remains were returned to us, and they are in a beautiful box, in a vacuumed sealed bag that is in a black velvet case...very fitting since Baxley was a black lab. That beautiful box is on our mantel.  On one side is a picture of Mommy and Daddy and on the other side is a picture of Baxley.

James and I have cried many, many, many tears.  We have lost our son, but we know he is no longer hurting.  He is running and chasing birds, butterflies, and is with other little dogs. We are slowly getting to the point of where we can share wonderful memories again, without crying six or seven times a day.  Baxley went knowing that Daddy and Mommy loved him, and we fully believe that we will all be together again one day.

To hear it from James' words and meet Bruno, check out his post here!