Baxley-March 8

I cannot write this without having a heavy heart and tears in my eyes.  Our beloved, four-legged son, Baxley, went to Heaven on Friday, March 8, 2013.  He has been everything that a son could be, but so much more. Baxley started not wanting to eat much about 1 1/2 weeks prior to March 8th.  My hubby and I took him to vet on March 4th.  The vet checked his tummy and did not feel any blockages, and he also took his temperature which was slightly elevated, but nothing to cause great concern.  The afternoon before we left the vet's office, Baxley was eating canned food, and we were relieved.  The next day, James went to the store and bought another brand of pet food.  We thought maybe he was tired of the pet food he had, because he had been eating it for a few years.  Baxley ate the new food so fast you would think there was a prize at the bottom of his food bowl.  On Wednesday and Thursday, he again went back to not eating.  He was drinking his water, but we couldn't get him to eat.

Friday morning James called and made an appointment for Baxley to see the vet.  I was already at work but something kept telling me that I needed to go and be with James and Baxley at the vet's office.  When I got there, I saw James lifting Baxley out of the back seat of his truck.  That is not at all like Baxley because he loves to ride and gets in and out of Daddy's truck with ease.  When we got back to the examining room, Baxley was very calm.  This was unlike him too, because no matter who you are Baxley was always glad to see you, and would run up to you.  The technician took his temperature and said it was normal.  The vet came in to look at him, and first said that he was pale.  James and I thought that sounded odd being that he is a black dog.  However, she said that you are supposed to see the blood vessels in their eyes, and Baxley's was very faint, and his gums are supposed to be a bright pink, and Baxley's were pale.  She took him and did some blood work on him.  When they brought Baxley back to the room, the technician offered him various kinds of food, and Baxley would sniff it and then turn away.

Baxley laid on the floor and barely moved.  James and I were quite shocked when the results came back.  She said that if he were human, that a blood transfusion would be needed right then and there.  The vet also stated that his hemoglobin was very low and other blood results lead to pancreatic cancer.   She said the blood loss was most likely from internal bleeding, and possibly cancerous tumors.  We were shocked!  Baxley never complained, whined, etc.  We had no idea he was such a sick little boy.  Money was no object to us about how to treat Baxley but even with surgery and a blood transfusion there was only a 40% chance that he would make it.  James asked the vet what she would personally do if it were her dog.  She said that given his age and everything...she would put him to sleep.  This was harder to hear that anything in this world.  We didn't want Baxley to go on suffering but we didn't want to lose our son either.  When James and I made the decision to put him down, James asked if he could hold Baxley in his lap while all of this was going on.  She said "of course."  The technician placed Baxley in Daddy's lap, and I sat beside them.  First, the vet gave him a sedative, and then the euthanasia shot.  We held Baxley until his little heart stopped.

I felt like someone had just ripped my heart from my chest.  I haven't cried that much since my Daddy died almost 30 years ago.  A part of Baxley's Mommy and Daddy went with him.  We opted to have Baxley cremated because

• 1. we live in an apartment and don't have anywhere to bury him
• 2. I always said that if anything ever happened to Baxley I would want him cremated, so that I could have him with us.

A few days later, his remains were returned to us, and they are in a beautiful box, in a vacuumed sealed bag that is in a black velvet case...very fitting since Baxley was a black lab. That beautiful box is on our mantel.  On one side is a picture of Mommy and Daddy and on the other side is a picture of Baxley.

James and I have cried many, many, many tears.  We have lost our son, but we know he is no longer hurting.  He is running and chasing birds, butterflies, and is with other little dogs. We are slowly getting to the point of where we can share wonderful memories again, without crying six or seven times a day.  Baxley went knowing that Daddy and Mommy loved him, and we fully believe that we will all be together again one day.

To hear it from James' words and meet Bruno, check out his post here!

Our First New York City Christmas in 2010

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Remembering 9-11

On this the eve of the 10th year after 9/11, I thought I would write about what I remember about that day.

I remember being at work on that morning at Mount Olive College in Wilmington. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I'm sure the birthday of my Daddy weighed heavily on my mind, since his birthday (which would be celebrated in Heaven), was the following day. Somewhere between 9AM and 10AM, I received an e-mail from a co-worker that I had previously worked with from the job I left when my husband and I moved to Wilmington in January 2011. She asked me if I had heard that the tower in NYC had been hit by a plane and they suspected it was a terrorist attack. My immediate response was thanking her for the information and then I proceeded to tell my co-workers. By the time the word spread around the office, I received another e-mail from her that said that the second tower had been hit. There were no radios in the office and we didn't have cable tv's, so I was thankful that she was e-mailing me to let me know. All I remember is needing to talk to my hubby. He has always had a way of calming me down when I get upset. I also immediately wanted to make sure that my Mom and Dad, Sissy, and Nephew were fine. They do not live in NYC, or anywhere near it, but I just wanted to make sure they were all okay too. I had only been living in Wilmington for eight months at the time and it was hard to be so far away from family when someone was trying to attack our country. After I talked to my Sissy, and she told me that everyone was fine, I was okay. James called and checked on his Mom and Dad, too. For a while after the attacks had happened, I kept wondering why someone would want to try to tear apart our country like this, and why did they think they had the right to do that, and how did they get control of the plane. Some of these answers, I know, will never be answered. That afternoon on my lunch break, I remember coming home, and spending some time with my son, Baxley. As I sat there petting Baxley, I was watching the news on television. Every channel was covering the events that had transpired, and I learned that even the Pentagon had been hit, too. I distinctly remember one moment from the news where this woman was trapped on one of the floors in the second tower. She was yelling for help. After a few minutes she had lost hope, and in the next scene she was jumping out of the tower. I don't think I will ever forget that scene. Also, the scene of all of the firetrucks that were responding, the people running down the street as the towers collapse, and the white ash covering everything in its path. Thoughts covered my mind knowing that a team of firemen from Wilmington may be sent to help, and my hubby could be one of them. Firemen form strong, almost "brotherly" bonds, and this tragedy was truly hard for James. A picture of the twin towers that I had taken when James and I visited NYC when we were in college, was tucked away in one of my photo books. I got it out and prayed for those that had lost their lives, and everyone that would be affected by this tragedy. Terrorists have tried to destroy us, but as they have seen, it only made us stronger. People turned to God, and asked for His help; He has been faithful, and supplied our every need. God takes care of His children. Thank you God for saving our great Country, and being the sustainer of our world.

OBEDIENCE from a Godly Mother

This blog is one of the many examples that show my Mother's obedience to her Heavenly Father:

Anyone that knows my Mother, knows that she is a Godly, Christian lady. I was always taken to church by my parents, along with my sister, Teresa, and we were always there when the doors were open. She taught Sunday School, and throughout the years has held various roles within the church. When I was very young, my Mother had noticed that the "soft spot" as it is often referred to, on my head had closed up, and this was premature. She called the doctor and he asked her to bring me in so that I could be examined. (I had no idea what was going on because I was very young, and don't remember any of this.) 


After meeting and being examined by the doctor a few times, he then suggested that they take me to see a specialist in Atlanta, Georgia. The doctor there examined me and did a few simple diagnostic tests on me. I had what was called "Cranialsynostosis". It is the premature closure of one or more of the joints between the bones of the skull resulting in a malformed head, which may lead to an increase in intra-cranial pressure and consequential brain damage. The doctor informed my Mother and Father that there was good news and bad news. The good news was that it could be fixed by surgery. The bad news was that there was a very good chance that I could die on the operating table. My Mother and Father had a lot to discuss on their drive back to South Carolina. Neither wanted to have the surgery because of the risk, but they also didn't want me to grow up having a head shaped like a football. (Yes, that is what the doctor said it would look like without surgery.)


One day as my Mother was sweeping her bedroom floor and praying to God about what she should do, she heard a very distinct voice say to her "Do not have the surgery. Your child will be fine." It was in that very moment that she knew it was God speaking to her. She went and told my Father what just happened. She obeyed God, and as an obedient child of God, she trusted Him. She and my Father called the doctor the next day and told him that they did not want to have the surgery on me. I have never had any learning disabilities, and my head is not malformed. I thank my Mother for being obedient to God, and for trusting Him. I thank my God for a praying and loving Mother.

A GPS Story

I had planned a trip to go "home" and visit my family for the weekend. My husband had purchased a GPS and wanted me to get in the habit of using it just in case I needed it. Well, I didn't need it to get home as I already had this trip memorized, but reluctantly gave it a try. James gave me the basics of how to use it. After the demonstration, I stored it in the console because I would not be needing it for a few hours. When I finally got ready for my trip home, I pulled the GPS out of the console, and set it up as he had demonstrated. Then, I pushed "on", attached it to the windshield, adjusted it, etc. Now, I was ready to start my five and a half-hour journey. One of the things I do like about the GPS is that it would calculate what time I SHOULD arrive at my destination. The time it showed was approximately 5:30.
Everything was going great! I was about 30 miles from my last and final big interstate and that is the last interstate I have to get on in order to get home. Then...I saw a sign that read "I-385 Closed. Detour ahead." First off, I panicked because I-385 was closed, and secondly I do not like "detours"!! I followed a detour before and it got me lost so that is why I don't care for detours. Ok, I calmed down somewhat because I still had my GPS with me. It then told me to take Exit 54. I thought okay, GPS is going to get me around all of this and get me to my destination. I followed the GPS directions, (which by the way, my hubby had programmed it to use its Donald Duck voice, so I had Donald giving me directions), and did as Donald told me to do. I turned on this road, and that road, made a sharp turn here, etc. Then, the next direction it gives me is to turn right. WRONG!!!! It was trying to put me on I-385, but this part of 385 is the part that the construction crews were working on, plus there was a black garbage bag placed over the 385 sign, which obviously means that one cannot use this road! Being that I had no other choice, I simply drove by it. Donald Duck apparently recognizes this and says to me, "Turn around Stupid." Not nice! I turned around and drove right back by it, and again he says to me "Turn around, Stupid". He told me that about three times. By this time, I was panicking because I did not know where I was, only that I was in a town called Ora, and secondly, the GPS could not help me. So, yes, I panicked. First instinct, CALL JAMES. I called him, crying and upset; I was out in the middle of "tim-buck-tu" and had no earthly idea how to get back to I-26 because I was told to take all of these "back roads". Bless his heart, he knows how upset I get when I get lost, and he tried to calm me down. At one time, I had him in my ear and Donald talking in the other. He could hear Donald giving me directions to "Turn around, Stupid", and found it comical...although I didn't know it was comical to him until after I arrived home. He asked me if I could not go back the way I came. No, because I don't remember all of the backroads that Donald took me on. At this point, the GPS was trying to locate the road I was on so it had to find Ora, too. (I don't know if it found it or not, because I reached up and turned it off). I was ready to throw Donald and his calling me "Stupid" out the window, but didn't want to throw nearly $200.00 away, so I put it back in the console. My wonderful hubby stayed with me on the phone until I found I-26. Then, I was fine because I knew how to get to my destination. So, a trip that started off putting me at my destination at 5:30, really wound up arriving at my destination at 6:15.
So, the moral of this story is: Although a GPS device is a wonderful tool, a quote from Father Mouse from one of my favorite holiday movies"don't quite know everything, now, do you?"

SISSY VACATION 2009

(My sister told me that since I write so well, I needed to write about our Sissy Vacation. This is my attempt at putting all the fun we had into a well written document.)

I believe it was either in March or April one morning when I e-mailed my sister, Teresa, and wanted to get her thoughts on maybe a “mini Sissy Vacation”. It would only be for a few days because not having worked a full year at my present job; I had not built up enough time to be off for a full week. She e-mailed me back and really liked the idea. (The last time we tried to do this it was in August of 2006. The day we were scheduled to leave I was put in the hospital with heart problems.) It wasn’t long before we nailed down a date—that afternoon I think. Then came the what-seemed-like-forever wait. After months of e-mailing, texting, phone calling, etc. it was the day for Sissy to come to my house so we could get up and go to the beach to start our mini Sissy Vacation in the morning. My sissy arrived at my house around 7:15pm. We went out to Firehouse Subs, Wal-Mart, the One Dollar Store, and then back to my house. I believe we went to bed that night around 1 or 1:30AM. (We were both exhausted, but she had been up for approximately 29 hours!)

Day One (July 30): The day to go to the beach for our vacation had arrived!!!!! I got up at 7AM. We packed the car, including Baxley, and left the house at 8:30. First stop was dropping Baxley off for a few days at Dogs at Play. (His home away from home!) Next, we stopped to fuel up the car. Then, on our way to Myrtle Beach we stopped for a biscuit. First stop…Myrtle Waves. This was the first time we had been there. We found a nice spot right in front of the wave pool. It wasn’t too crowded, and there was a nice breeze blowing. After dropping most of my magazines in the water and being laughed at by my sissy, we decided to seek out what rides we could get on. The first ride we got on was Snake Mountain. We were able to get a raft that we could ride in together. It was fun except for the raft turning us both over at the end of the ride and ending up with a mouth full of water. Then, we went over and got on Arooba Tooba. I thought it was fun, but the whole time we were swirling around the bowl my sissy kept saying “I’m gonna kill you, I’m gonna kill you.” I thought it was fun. She said it was ok. Next, we got on the Layzee River. (That was more her speed.) It was nice to just relax and float around. Except for some rambunctious children and some teens that wanted to go faster than the norm, it was really nice. We started to get hungry so we decided to get out and go find a bite to eat. We ordered our food, and after receiving it decided to seek out a table where we could sit, talk, and rest. The first table we chose had ants. We moved to another table; it had ants, too. We moved to yet another table. No ants at this table, however, as I was about to sit down, I looked down and saw a lizard. (I don’t do reptiles of any kind!) I screamed, and told my sissy. She moved, but not very fast—reptiles apparently don’t bother her. She said I scared it away. We finally sat at another table without ants or reptiles, but it was in the hot sun. (The others were shaded.) Oh well, I’ll take a table out in the sun before I dine with a reptile! After eating we made our way back to the wave pool. It was nice and cool, refreshing. We would go sit in our chairs and rest a little, and then we would go back in the wave pool when we got hot. At one point, I was getting kinda bored and restless. Being the adventurous person that I am, I wanted to ride a more challenging ride. I picked the Turbo Twister. It’s a 10 story high ride that sends you spiraling through black tubes at 50 feet per second. I asked my sister if she would watch, and take a picture. She agreed. I started climbing the stairs. As I neared the top, I felt like I couldn’t hardly breathe, but I knew I was okay, because I was still standing..ha ha. My time to ride was next. As I got seated staring into this dark tube, I said a quick prayer…”Lord, help me make it out alive.” Off I go…………………………………………………………………………next thing I know, I’m at the bottom of the tube laying in water. As I try to get my bearings, I finally get up and find my way out of the riding zone. I told my sister that it was “quite an experience”…a little more challenging than I made it out to be at first. (I still think I lost some brain cells somewhere between the beginning of the ride and the end.) We spent a little more time at the wave pool, and then decided it was time to head to the hotel. We checked in at the hotel with no problem. We parked, got our luggage, loaded it up on the dolly, along with some groceries we had brought, and headed to the room. It was a nice oceanfront room with a balcony. We spent some time unpacking, and relaxing. Then we got cleaned up and went out for the evening. We went shopping, and then we went to Fuddrucker’s to eat. (There’s not a Fuddrucker’s where I live so I was kinda excited because I love to eat there.) Next, we went to the grocery store to buy some refrigerated items for the room. Finally, we went to Painter’s Ice Cream. (Painter’s is a MUST when they are open!!) With our bellies full, and tiredness slowly sneaking up on us, we headed back to the room, and eventually fell asleep.

Day Two (July 31): We woke up around 6:15AM to watch the sunrise and take pictures. After doing so we went back to bed. We woke up again around 8AM. I decided to make some coffee. WRONG! No coffee filters. Ok…I can live. Then I decided to fix my pop tart. Partly WRONG again. There were no outlets in the kitchen so I had to take the toaster in the bathroom to plug it in. (This day was not going well.) At 9:30AM we headed out to the beach. We set up our towels and sat for a little while. We got in the ocean for a few moments, and then we headed up to the pool at our hotel. It was nice and not crowded. We picked out some chairs and I got in the water. The pool was eight feet deep and I stayed in the deep part of the pool most of the time…swimming laps, doing flips and tricks, etc. It was fun, plus Sissy was there to watch me. J We headed in one time because it started to rain. It cleared up rather quickly so we headed back out. There was an ice cream truck that was circling the neighborhood several times and it always managed to wind up in the hotel parking lot that was across from ours which was right on the other side of the pool. I tell you no lie…this ice cream truck was playing Christmas music. (Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that I can listen to Christmas music any time of the year, but with an ice cream truck playing it over the speakers….it was just weird!) Around 3:30PM, we decided to leave the pool area, and change because we wanted to go shopping on The Grand Strand before we went out that night. We grabbed at bite to eat in our room, and then we headed to The Grand Strand. After finding a place to park, we headed out on our journey. I was going to get a personalized license plate with my name airbrushed on the front of it, and I think Sissy was just shopping. We visited several shops, and then saw an airbrush place. We stopped and asked about prices, and looked at some of the t-shirts, and license plates that he had displayed. I picked out my license plate. Teresa and I started looking at the really cute t-shirts that were displayed. We came up with an idea for Sissy Vacation t-shirts, and each had one made. They are really cute, and we got a great price on them, too! My sissy stopped and looked at another place when she thought about getting her son a shirt. We decided what should be put on the shirt, and the salesperson wrote up how much it would cost. When he quoted the price to my sissy, she about hit the floor---$50.00 for a t-shirt. I don’t think so!!!! See ya! We went back to where we had purchased our shirts and asked him. The quoted price from him was nearly half of what we had been quoted earlier. SOLD!!!! We shopped around some more while waiting for his shirt to be designed, picked it up, and then headed back to the car with our purchases. We got back to our room, and collapsed. We were tired. After some groaning from me, I finally got up and started to get ready for our evening out on the town. (My sissy was nearly ready by the time I got up.) I finally finished getting ready and we were going out. WE LOOKED GREAT! We went to TGI Friday’s to eat, and then, of course, we went to Painter’s Ice Cream! After a little while, we headed back to our hotel to retire.

Day Three (August 1): Once again, we got up around 6:15AM to watch the sun rise and take pictures. After doing so, we went back to bed for a little while. At 8AM, I got out of bed and decided to fix a pop tart for breakfast. I couldn’t help but laugh as I took my pop tart to the bathroom to put it in the toaster. The sight of seeing a toaster sitting on the counter in the bathroom had become quite comical to me. My sissy got up a little later and we were both a little sad because we had to leave today. After a while we began packing up, and checking out. We decided to go shopping at the Tanger Outlets. When we left there, we ate at Steak and Shake. Neither one of us had ever eaten there, but it was pretty good. Then, on the way out of Myrtle Beach, of course, we stopped at Painter’s Ice Cream. Next came the uneventful drive back to my house in Wilmington, NC. Mini Sissy Vacation 2009 may have ended, but the memories of having fun and sharing time with each other will live on in our hearts forever.

I love you, Sissy!

Baxley: A Man and Woman's Best Friend

My dog Baxley is eight years old. If you have taken the time to read my autobiography, you already know that he has been with me since he was old enough to be without his “birth mother”. Now, I am “Mommy”. I will now attempt and try to put into words what my life has been like with this new addition to our family.
When James and I had been married for almost a year, we adopted a kitten from the animal shelter. (I had never had a dog and I wanted a kitten for companionship since James did a fair amount of traveling with his job.) We had her until we moved to Wilmington which was 2001. In April of 2001, James asked if we could get a puppy. I agreed. Since I had never had a dog before, I let James pick out the breed, etc. that he wanted. James said he would like to have a lab or a beagle. While looking through the paper one Saturday afternoon I ran across an ad that someone had placed. They were giving away free lab and beagle mix puppies to a good home. I took the newspaper in to where James was sitting. After looking it over, he called the number that was listed and spoke to the lady that had the puppies. We drove to Oak Island that afternoon, and picked out our puppy. (That story is mentioned in my autobiography also.) The day we picked him up the lady gave us a box to put him in, (lid open of course), to carry him home. Baxley never peed in the box all the way home, like I thought he would. So I was thinking…we have a perfect puppy. Oh how deceiving (Ha, Ha)

The first night home was an experience. It was the night before Sunrise Service at church. James has to get up around 4:30 or so to get ready for the service because he has to set up sound equipment, etc. Baxley cried all night. The only thing that calmed him was James being right beside him while Baxley lay in his crate. That was a long night for both of us, but especially James. Over the next day or two, James set aside time to make vet appointments, get dog food, collar, toys, bones…all the things a growing boy needs…the puppy, not James. We even bought puppy pads….note here…they do not work! We put down puppy pads, but Baxley didn’t pee or poop on them….he found places where there were no puppy pads to do his business. By the way, pee has been nick-named “good things”, and poop has been nick-named “bad things”, by us. His good things and bad things all over different places of the house nearly drove me crazy…that’s a short drive! One day we left him in the crate to get some things done and didn’t want him running everywhere…it must’ve been too long for his little bladder because James went to check on him, and he had done bad things, and managed to get it all over him and the crate. Oh, what a mess!!! Baxley finally got house-trained and I was so glad. The only other time he’s had an accident since being house-trained was about four years ago and at least he did good things on the kitchen floor where it could be mopped up, and not on the carpet.

Baxley never chewed up anything of real significance that I can recall. No shoes, no clothes, no knick-knacks that are kept around the house. He was very good. However, he did like to pull things out of the trash can---could be toilet paper, Kleenex, paper plates, etc. I finally wised up and put the trash can in the pantry. He grabs the occasional tissue or wadded up paper from a trash can in the study or another room, but that is just to get our attention…we’ve learned. One time while riding with Daddy and a co-worker in Daddy’s truck, he ate the ear bob right off the lady’s ear. She thought she had lost it. We found it a couple of days later when Baxley was doing bad things. He’s never been a dog to be real calm. The vet told us that once he was “fixed” he would calm down some. The vet was WRONG. Ha ha.

Baxley has surprised me at times. One day when I arrived home from work, I found the back door wide open. Nothing had been stolen but I guess the door may have been left ajar and blown open by the wind. Anyway…I thought that Baxley may have run out because I didn’t see him when I walked in the house. I checked through the rest of the house 1. to make sure nothing had been stolen, and 2. to see if Baxley actually stayed there. Good news! Nothing had been stolen AND Baxley was still in the house. I was so glad and relieved!!!!

Daddy found a place called Dogs at Play. It is a “day-care” for dogs. You take them there in the morning and pick them up when you get off work. They have a big playground, a pool, toys, etc. that are for their play time. Also, if you need to be gone for one night or a few nights they have overnight accommodations, too. Plus, someone stays there with the dogs all the time so they are never alone. Baxley LOVES this place. You mention “day-care” or “Dogs at Play” and you better be ready to take him because he knows exactly what you’re saying and he’s ready to go. He comes home worn out and recuperates in a couple of days.

Baxley has his own favorite toys, and his crate is cushioned, but one place that he has claimed as his is the seat at the bay window. It faces the street that we live on and the pool is right across the street. He would lay there from sun-up till sun-down if he could. If someone pulls up or he sees a strange vehicle or even if he sees a strange or unleashed dog…we know it because he is in the bay window and he will bark until the situation is resolved. He’s got a watchful eye and nothing gets by him.

I never knew I would feel about a dog the way I feel about Baxley. He is such an important part of my life. He is there for us when we are down or hurting, and he is there for us to make us smile and laugh. He has unconditional love for Mommy and Daddy, and other friends and family members that he knows. I was not able to have children, and Baxley is as much my child as one can be. I love him and would do anything possible for him. I am his Mommy and am proud of it.